This is somewhat of a continuation of the previous two entries but I think important. I have some all or nothing characteristics in me and when I started being mentored over 20 years ago this all or nothing was in full force.
A man that mentored me in college was a fine leader and taught me a lot about being a father, spiritual leader, and husband. But when it came to his work, he gave more to his work and in my opinion would neglect his family. He had a job with a company that required him to work every waking hour of the day. When he would describe what a day on the job looks like I had a hard time separating what he was mentoring on and not getting caught up in how overworked I thought he was. As a result of this, I began to dismiss the other direction that he was giving and our relationship didn't deepen but flattened. I didn't want a mentor, I wanted a best friend too.
Fast forward this twenty years or think about it in your own experience. We still want people to mentor us that are consistent and demonstrate integrity. Alternatively, if we are asking someone to mentor us in a specific area or on a particular topic can we accept the fact that there will be inconsistencies and there will be things we don't like about them? Similarly, if we are honest with ourselves, we have inconsistencies and things that are in-congruent with our beliefs.
This concept of focused mentoring allows you to find mentors that will teach you specific things and for only a given season of life. It acknowledges a reality and an honesty and candor to our mentoring. It keeps us from setting the mentor up as an idol and helps you to seem them as a person with feet of clay much like ourselves.
Till next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment